It's Not "Just a Game"
Table of Contents
Hallo! I hope you are doing well. In this post, let’s talk about one sentence that people usually say, “It’s just a game!” How true is that? Let’s dive into it.
What kind of games have I played?
I experienced multiplayer games and single-player games. Some of the multiplayer games were competitive, and some were not. If you ask me, back then, when I was still playing competitively, it was definitely not “just a game”, especially at tournaments where money was at stake. Ranked/ladder games were not as high stakes as tournaments, but as they say, falling is easier than climbing. The Matchmaking Rating (MMR) that I lost from losing/leaving a game is often harder to regain.
As time went on, I didn’t play competitive multiplayer games as often anymore, and instead, I started playing single-player games (or games where if I get punished, I get punished alone and not together with other teammates). It was really nice because there is less… guilty feeling for me, you know, if I screw up or I need to do something urgent?
Or maybe I just don’t like games where heavy communication is required anymore, which leaves the 3 games that I will share in this post: Final Fantasy XIV, Final Fantasy X, and Expedition 33.
But, but, but, Final Fantasy XIV is an MMORPG! How come it doesn’t need heavy communication?
True, but the “multiplayer” aspect in FFXIV has different difficulties as well, ranging from casual, midcore, and hardcore. Of course, I took the casual one. I only subscribe for 1 month after a major patch, do the Main Scenario Quests (MSQ), some/most of the side stories, level up crafters/gatherers, and maybe revisit some other fighting jobs that haven’t been leveled up to maximum. The casual content is, as written, very casual. I do not need to hyper-focus; it’s too tiring after a day of hard work. No heavy communication is required, as long as I do the bare minimum.
Now, before we jump to how each game impacted me, I’ll share a bit about how I internalize the essence of a game. All of the games mentioned below are very heavy in terms of story. Each helped me in their own way, and it’s because, I think, I internalized the game’s essence into myself. So, that’s why, for those games, I don’t want to say, “It’s just a game!”
Internalizing the essence of a game
When I look back at myself before 2018, I don’t think I cared as much as I do now for story-based games. I began caring for stories in 2018 because maybe, at that time, I began taking care of my mental state more (it was still subpar, but better than before, where I was completely oblivious of it).
I remember the World of Warcraft: Battle for Azeroth expansion came up, and there was a cutscene about Jaina and her mother, Katherine. I think that touched me… a lot. Katherine thought that Jaina was a traitor because she helped the Orcs assault Theramore, which resulted in the death of her father, Daelin. So, she sent Jaina into an “open prison” where people there get tortured mentally by their memories. At the end, Katherine realized the errors of her ways and helped the player save Jaina.
I was touched by that because I, too, at that time, didn’t have a good relationship with my mother. So, seeing other people, yes, even video game characters, got the resolution that I had not experienced… it felt good. It didn’t have to be me; I just had to be there so I could share in the warmth that I wasn’t able to feel.
However, World of Warcraft is mostly focused on battle content. The story started going downwards since then, causing me to lose interest and stop playing it. Finally, in 2021, I tried to take a stab at FFXIV during the famous “World of Warcraft Exodus”.
My experiences
The following sections contain spoilers. Proceed with caution.
Final Fantasy XIV
I wasn’t a huge fan of Final Fantasy back then. I think my only experience was Final Fantasy Tactics Advance, which was playable on Game Boy Advance (now I feel old). So, I didn’t have much expectation playing the game. I just like, “Why not? I don’t have other games to play anyway.”
The point where I was sold was on A Realm Reborn, patch 2.55. I got super hooked from there. The idea to “kill off” most of the cast, leaving only a few characters to venture into an unknown city with corrupt leaders… it was really something. I learned about relationship dynamics, which, I think, helped me a bit in improving my interpersonal skills. I learned more about my emotions through journeying with the characters. Heavensward was tales of faith.
“For those we have lost. For those we can yet save.”
Stormblood was OK. The theme of the expansion was about how people who spent a long time under another nation’s rule may become “hopeless” and any plan to break free from the invader’s grasp will just result in more pain. It’s a dilemma.
The major patches, though, were a huge step up. Fordola peered through the Warrior of Light’s memory and beheld countless traumas and betrayals. Nanamo let Raubahn go to take part in the rebuilding of Ala Mhigo. Finally, Tsukoyomi closed the Stormblood expansion with fantastic trial mechanics and music. Stormblood was tales of fire.
“Smile for me, Raubahn. I would have this parting be a joyous one.”
Shadowbringers was PEAK. A new world with new people. The “Welcome to Shadowbringers” moment. The Thancred/Minfilia/Ryne relationship. The Blessing of Light acted as a “power bank” to store all the light from Lightwardens, which eventually exceeded the capacity and hurt the Warrior of Light. The villains, whom I previously thought were just “plain villains” who should be eliminated, dropped lore bombs that exposed their “human” side. After defeating the 5.0 expansion boss, I thought to myself, “Am I doing the right thing?”
The major patches were equally good compared to the base expansion. How the Warrior of Light’s comrades were living on borrowed time and had to find a way to return to the Source, how events unfolded in the Source with Estinien and Gaius, and lastly… how Elidibus, so fixated in his duty, forgot with whom he swore his oath. Shadowbringers was tales of loss.
“Yours is a long road, my friend, and it stretches on to places beyond imagining.
With your every step, these grand adventures shall grow more distant and faint.
And there may come a day when you forget the faces and voices of those you have met along the way.
On that day, I bid you remember this…
That no matter how far your journey may take you, you stand where you stand by virtue of the road you walked to get there.
For in times of hardship, when you fear you cannot go on…
The joy you have known, the pain you have felt, the prayers you have whispered and answered—they shall ever be your strength and your comfort.
This I hope—I believe, here at memory’s end.”
Finally, Endwalker. An expansion where despair turns people into beasts. It was very fitting because at the time Endwalker dropped, I was probably at one of the lowest points in my life, if not the lowest. I didn’t have the desire to do software engineering stuff, so I just woke up, turned on my computer, then did everything in a very… “autopilot” moment. The previous expansions helped me “feel”. By the time Endwalker launched, I had gained some of my senses back. There was a group of friends, too, which helped me occupy my time by doing raids. Though I don’t really interact with them anymore, I am thankful for them and wish them well in their lives.
From there, every time I felt despair, every time I was about to have a panic attack, I recalled the Endwalker expansion. How the Warrior of Light stood against all odds to prevent Zenos from wreaking havoc using the Warrior of Light’s body, how the brave Matsya shielded Mehvan’s baby at death’s door, the honest conversation between the Warrior of Light and Hermes… there were too many moments that I really cherish from Endwalker. If I have to pick a few, it would be the moment Urianger met Moenbryda’s parents and when Fourchenault opened up to Alisaie and Alphinaud. As mentioned above, I’m a sucker for heartwarming parent stories.
Elpis was something else. The moments with Venat were great, especially when she asked “Have your journey been good? Has it been worthwhile?” It definitely has been, at that time. At least, in that virtual world. Venat had this “motherly” energy that, again, was super effective against me. So, when presented with her journey during the Final Days and up until the present moment, I felt as if I swam in a sea of onions.
Oh, and I definitely do not forget about Meteion dropping to her knees when recalling Hermes’ words at the edge of existence. It’s such a tragic story, a parent-figure who did not want their child-figure not to suffer, but it ended up hurting them since they were not prepared for the outside world. Now, I’m not saying that parents should give their children “tough love” so they are not “jetlagged” in the real world. I think there should be a good balance between control and grace, so we can prevent the extreme ends.
“Meteion. Though I gave you wings to soar the heavens, I did not teach you how to walk the earth. So loath was I to bind another living being. In the course of your long journey, you will learn from those you meet. Learn to walk, run, and so much more. A flower. Yes, upon your return, I will give you a beautiful flower.”
At the end of the day, FFXIV gave me a lot of… what to say, “experience”? Especially about regulating emotions. Whenever I’m feeling anxious, I just recall the scene where G’raha helped a civilian to stay calm, take deep breaths, so they were not transformed into a beast. It is amazing.
Final Fantasy X
I remember I played FFX in the month of Ramadan 2023. I remember I played it after taraweeh prayer. I finished it before Ramadan ended. Probably you can say it was a wasted time, especially since I played it in the holy month, I don’t disagree. However, Final Fantasy X helped me learn another important learning for me about parent-child relationships, which, I think, can’t just be taught from preaching and whatnots.
“Gonna cry again? Cry. Cry. That’s the only thing you’re good for!”
Since Tidus was a child, he hated his father, Jecht, because his father was a famous blitzball player. Blitzball is like an underwater football game, something like water polo perhaps, but in this one, players are all fully submerged. Don’t ask me how they breathe. It is said that blitzball players can hold their breath for a long time, so, yeah. Additionally, from Tidus’ perspective, Jecht often bullied him, saying things like “You are only good at crying”, including always spending time together with his mother, leaving Tidus all alone.
However, as the game progressed, Tidus found a lot of Jecht spheres. One of them is in the Macalania Woods, after beating the water boss Spherimorph. In the sphere recording, Jecht let his “mask” slip a bit and tried to lift Tidus’ spirit. He also mentioned that he is not good at “these things”, which usually means he’s a parent who gives “tough love”, hence it is hard to express “soft love”.
In the Farplane, after Yuna asked Tidus to remember Jecht, Tidus remembered his mother instead, which made the pyreflies present her image in front of them. It was at this moment that Tidus realized that it wasn’t his father who pulled his mother away from him, but rather his mother was the one who was too attached to his father. Jecht even suggested to his wife, “Ah, go to him. He’ll cry if you don’t.”
In Zanarkand Ruins, Tidus saw the pyreflies “recording” of Braska, Jecht, and Auron running towards the last cloister of trials. He saw how Jecht, who in his head was a rather “selfish” person, cared about Braska by asking him to stop the pilgrimage, so he didn’t have to die [from the Final Summoning].
Before fighting Yunalesca, Jecht said that his dream was actually his son in Zanarkand. Since there was no way back home for him, he decided to become fayth for Braska instead, which Auron opposed. After fighting Yunalesca, Auron told Tidus via pyrefiles that Jecht asked Auron to take care of Tidus in dream Zanarkand, because he would need someone to be a “father-figure” for him. Auron was probably clueless about how to act for that role, though, so, yeah, he ended up just being a “physical guardian” for Tidus instead, which proved crucial when Sin attacked dream Zanarkand.
Finally, when facing his father inside Sin, Tidus’ “hate” for his father began to falter. He tried to reach out to his father as he got dragged down below the arena and transformed into Braska’s Final Aeon. After he defeated Jecht, he finally let go of his hate and expressed his pride in his father… something that he had never said before.
Yes, yes, there were a lot of sad moments too, other than the parent-child moments. The laughing scene (especially after finishing the game), the summoner’s objective revelation in Home, the destruction of Home, Yuna’s goodbye sphere, Auron’s sending, and, of course… the damn ending cinematic. It got me good. It did feel different after I spent a considerable amount of time with the party. Yuna’s headshake, the failed hug, and finally the acceptance ghost hug.
“The people and the friends that we have lost, or the dreams that have faded… Never forget them.”
Expedition 33
Just last week, I finished Expedition 33. It was so good, it was probably my second story-based game with an M rating (after Detroit: Become Human). If I wrote about it, this post would have been too long. So, yeah, I’ll just write a dedicated post about it. Stay tuned!
Closing words
So, yeah, for me, games have a massive impact on my personal development, especially the story-based ones. It helped me process my past traumas and learn about interpersonal relationships. The games with heavy stories made me a better person. So, it’s definitely not “just a game”. For me, anyway. How about you?